Bellas Change EPOV in BD!
by kitaratyger
Summary: Ever wondered what Edward was going through during Breaking Dawn? Well, so did I, so here it is! Great Story for Edwards point of view. Follows storyline as exact as I could get it! Two chapters, one for during the change and one for her awakening! R/R!
1. The Change

**Hello!! Welcome to my Fanfic. I felt that Edward's point of view during Bella's change needed to be written, but I couldn't find any that would come close to satisfy. So I decided to write them myself. The first chapter is during her change, and the second after she wakes up. Working on a third chapter about the hunt currently, but send me reviews to let me know if you still want it! All belongs to the fabulous Stephanie Meyer, of course!**

**_p.s. Italics are usually thoughts, in case you couldn't tell._**

**Enjoy!!**

"Move your hands, Jacob."

Jacob looked up at me suddenly, confusion and shock reining in his thoughts.

I could feel my determination as I watched my poor Bella die. I would not allow this. It killed me to take her soul, but I was too selfish to have it any other way. I just couldn't do nothing. I had prepared, thinking of all the ways to make it faster, less painful for her. I remembered that with all our changes, the closer to the heart the venom entered, the faster it spread. I had been saving all my venom that welled in my mouth from smelling my beautiful angel, religiously spitting into a steel cup and freezing it. When we knew the birth was days away, I prepared the syringe. I was going to inject my venom straight into her heart.

"What's that?" Jacob asked.

He hadn't moved his hand so I quickly brushed it out of my way, hearing a slight snap as I did. I plunged the needle down, deep into her faltering heart.

Be strong my sweet.

"My venom," I replied coldly as I smashed the plunger down, knowing as I did that I was just ripping her selfishly away from heaven. I prayed to whatever gods were listening that she would someday forgive me.

I almost jumped to hear a loud and hard jolt in her heart.

"Keep it moving." I demanded of Jacob, whose thoughts were in a whirlwind of pain and doubt. I had long ago banished all emotions from my body, the only way I could have made it through this trial. I had known it was going to be hard, but this was more difficult than anything I could have imagined. I had pushed everything away so I could focus and give Bella the best chance at making it through this. I just hoped it was enough.

Jacob did as I asked and began to frantically pump her heart once more. I began my next trial, finally tasting Bella for the first time since the ballet studio, tearing into her skin over and over with my teeth, infecting her in as many places as possible. The flavor should have been intense, awakening the beast inside of me demanding more. But all I felt was the pain of knowing what suffering she would have, remembering the vivid pain of my changing. I felt revulsion at first from Jacob as he realized what I was doing. But when he noted that as I washed each wound with my venom coated tongue, the wound closed, and my venom and her precious blood was sealed inside her body.

We worked frantically over her body, repairing and putting my precious angel back together, but I could hear Jacob as he lost hope. She was already dead to him. I knew he would rather have her dead then to change into a leech, and hated him for leaving her in her hour of need. I could read his need to leave, to escape the scene before us.

"Go, then," I viciously snapped, pushing his hands out of the way with more force than really necessary, hearing the fine snaps of more of his fingers broken and felt satisfied at the sound. I pushed her heart with more faith, rougher, needing this to work.

"She's not dead." I growled, more to myself then to him. "She's going to be fine." I had to hold onto this simple belief. I would not let her go so easily, not give up on her. She had promised.

Jacob faded completely from my thoughts as I labored over my beloved. She was so limp, unresponsive……NO!! I refused to lose faith, working her heart evenly but roughly. Her blood felt thick and solid.

Suddenly I felt movement beneath my hands, and leapt back with surprise. Her heart started beating, changing.

I waited, nervous. Her heart continued it rhythm, hard and fast, beating against her rib cage. I knew it had begun then. I waited, and waited listening to each frantic heartbeat, knowing that soon I would never hear its precious sound again. The screams I expected to burst forth from her as the venom seared her veins never came.

Was she in pain yet? I couldn't tell. I had put so much morphine in her system to try and make a feeble attempt at saving her from the relentless suffering. Carlisle and I had discussed this, and I know that he had attempted to test his theory with Emmett, but the venom had leapt ahead of the morphine, sealing his veins against the drug. Bella's eyes remained closed, and I listened to her pant. It seemed a desperate sound, dragging in and expelling the air roughly. She still hadn't moved.

"Bella?" I asked.

Fear cracked my emotionless shell. She was so still other than her breathing. Was that normal? I couldn't know. I took a deep breath to calm myself, looking around the room. Only then did I notice that the entire room, including Bella and I, were covered in blood. My sweet Bella's blood. Could there be enough left inside of her for the change?

I began cleaning up, changing quickly into some scrubs that were stacked in the corner of the room, washing up in the sink. Bella's blood called to me, but after so long resisting its sweet temptation, and the shocks of the day it was easy to push away. I cleaned my wife meticulously, knowing that waking (and she WOULD wake, I had to believe) up covered in human blood would not be ideal.

As I cleaned the room, bleaching all traces of blood away from the room I let my thoughts drift to downstairs. Rosalie was cooing to the baby while feeding her. I could hear Jacobs's thoughts as he stared at my daughter, for a brief moment afraid until I actually listened to the words in his thoughts.

She is so perfect. Is she warm enough? The blonde leech has ice cold skin. But no, she isn't crying, so she must be alright. Maybe I should get a blanket just in case…..

What was this? Jacobs's sudden change of heart and mind about my daughter confused me. I dug deeper at his mind, trying to find the source of the change. Then I realized why his feelings felt so familiar. I had heard and felt the same devotion when reading Sam, as he was thinking about his Emily.

I was shocked to see the bindings that held him to my daughter. How dare that damn mutt imprint on my daughter! Suddenly furious, I wanted to stomp down and beat the mutt into a bloody mass of goo, but I couldn't leave my Bella, even for a moment. I growled, then pushing the thought from my mind, I decided to deal with it later. Bella was my main concern right now. I sat, holding Bella's hand, whispering gently in her ear. I wasn't sure if she could hear me, but it reassured me as I tried to reassure her.

"Bella, love I'm so sorry, it will end soon."

After what seemed an eternity I heard Carlisle and the others turn the car into our drive. Now focused on their minds, I could hear the worry and fear at what they would find.

Bella's body was completely healed now, except for deep bruising where she had been torn open. I winced at these memories, crystal clear in my vampire mind, shuddering at the thought of her ravaged body. I was such a monster to put her through all of this.

I heard Rosalie at the door to the study and turned to find her smiling gently down at Renesmee. Renesmee, my daughter. I gazed at her perfect miniature features, enthralled again with love for her. Rosalie wordlessly handed her to me, her mind radiating the love of her momentary moment of motherhood. I saw that Renesmee was sleeping soundly, not even aware of the transfer of arms. She sleeps…..

I heard Alice meeting Carlisle at the door, catching him up on the news. In seconds they were both upstairs, peering in at Bella.

"Excellent work, son, the change is begun. And Alice tells me that the child made it as well." Carlisle said, stepping next to me. I heard his breath catch as he caught sight of Renesmee for the first time. "My god, Edward, she is stunning!"

I watched as Carlisle became entranced as we all were.

"She had my features and hair color it seems." I cooed while brushed lovingly at her soft copper locks. They were like silk, so soft, so fine. The curls ringed my fingers, and I felt pure joy well up in me for the first time that day. Her dreams, just tiny flickers of light and sound, and occasional familiar faces started to fade.

Renesmee sighed in her sleep and rolled toward my touch, just as Bella did in her sleep. She yawned, and opened her eyes, looking up at me.

I froze with shock.

Bella's eyes stared back at me, and I felt her thoughts as she recognized me. She reached for me, and I held her close breathing her in and crooning sweetly at her. Her scent was different from all I had ever known. I could smell the blood running in her veins; hear the heart fluttering quietly, but there was no draw. I was relieved and grateful that I would never have to fight the monster within me to resist her blood, as I had for Bella. I could hold my daughter with no fear. I then noticed what was so familiar about her scent, she smelled also of vampire. Maybe it was this that desensitized me to her blood.

She smiled then, showing a full complement of pearly white teeth. If I had thought her beautiful before, this transformed her face into radiance. I could do nothing but stare and love her more.

I broke my trance when her eyes wandered from me to my family, wandering over them each, studying them with a shocking intelligence. I could hear her mind, so bellas quirk had not been passed along. I saw through her eyes as she finally located Bella, lying on the table.

"Yes baby, that's her, your mother." I said to her quietly, answering her unspoken question in her thoughts. "She's sleeping right now, she needs time to recover, but she'll be here with you soon." I promised her, praying that it was true.

"She has a gift." Rosalie stated. I turned to her questioningly, "She can project her thoughts into your mind simply by touching you with her hands." I gasped at the memory in Rosalie's thoughts, amazed again by my daughter.

"Amazing!" I whispered.

"May I hold her?" Esme asked quietly. I knew that she did not want to intrude on my moment with my daughter, but I could not deny my mother this joy, so I gently passed her over.

"Pretty baby," Esme cooed, and I recognized a fellow worshiper in her tone. She gently rocked her back and forth, singing softly. I could hear my daughters happiness, and then it replayed in Esme's mind as my daughter reached up to touch her face. Shock crossed Esme's mind as then a jolt of pure joy. She's truly gifted!! I heard her think. Oh Edward, she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

"Yes, yes she is" I agreed in awe.

The other family members gathered around her, cooing and chuckling at her, introducing themselves. I could hear Jacob lurking in the doorway, not wanting to enter, but unable to be away from my daughter. I smothered a growl. I would deal with this later.

Carlisle began questioning me on what happened. I quickly explained, from the damn cup spilling to the present. He stopped me when I told him about the syringe, looking at me with pride. Edward that was brilliant! I had never thought of injecting it. I had always assumed the bite was the key. Absolutely brilliant!

"But she hasn't moved at all, not a millimeter. Maybe I did something wrong." I replied aloud, my sudden fear showing on my face.

Didn't you say something about getting the morphine in her system? Yes, yes, I can smell it in her now. He thought. "That could be the reason behind her stillness; we can't know how that will affect her change. For all we know she's deeply under the drug, unconscious." We'll keep a close watch, and wait for the morphine to wear off. Let's see what happens at that point.

I wished that I could believe it, but my fear got in the way.

My family moved downstairs, while I stayed with Bella. She seemed much the same, panting hard, her heartbeat fast and desperate, but not moving a muscle. I could not tell how long I sat there, my vigil broken only as Alice came to me and demanded that I take a shower. She pointed out that Bella would not be happy to wake up with me so disheveled and covered in her blood. I was glad, though, when I was clean, it helped me repress the hideous images of her broken body.

Alice had dressed Bella in a soft blue gown, complete with matching stiletto heels. I chuckled at the expression that would surely be on Bella's face when she realized that Alice had dressed her. The sound caught in my throat, making it almost a sob.

Carlisle came in after a while, putting his hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

"Still no change?" he asked.

"None." I replied, hearing my own fear in my tone. I squeezed her hand gently.

"There's no scent of the morphine left." Carlisle said.

"I know." The scent had worn off about 20 minutes ago, but she hadn't moved at all. I was ragged with worry. Surely she must be in agony. If she were alright wouldn't she scream? I could remember my own searing agony with perfect clarity.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Carlisle called, leaning over her still frame to observe her face. There was no response.

"Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?" I pleaded for the hundredth time. It was the same as before, nothing, always nothing. If my heart could break, it would be shattered. "Maybe…" I swallowed, "Carlisle, maybe I was too late." My voice broke with my fear and I could see my tortured face in Carlisle's mind. But I had to know.

He smiled softly at me, his thoughts confident and comforting "Listen to her heart, Edward. Its stronger then even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect." His thought took in her paler then normal form. The change was evident in every part of her. A shot straight to the heart. So innovative.

"And her - her spine?" I choked out, wincing at the memory burned into my brain of the hideous sound of her spine being shattered like glass.

Again Carlisle was comforting, "Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's." I could see his memories of Esme after her fall, and felt his internal shudder. "The venom will heal her as it did Esme."

"But she's so still. I must have done something wrong." I whispered.

"Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine." He said calmly and firmly.

Again I wished I had his faith.

"She must be in agony." I whispered. My voice broke, hitching on my sob at the thought of her suffering so badly.

"We don't know that. She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience." Carlisle said.

I reached down closer to her, touching her arm, feeling her rushed pulse. Savoring its sweet song while I could. "Bella, I love you. Bella, I'm sorry." I wondered if she would ever forgive me. I was the cause of all of her suffering. My heart felt like lead, smothering me.

I could hear the argument continue below, as Jacob and Rosalie battled wills over renesmee. I could see how Renesmee clearly felt about her Jacob. Wait, her Jacob?! My thoughts reeled as I took in this information.

Carlisle was wondering if I would come down to help sort out the mess downstairs.

"No, I'm staying right here." I answered aloud. I knew every thought Jacob had had about my daughter, and I had to admit that there was nothing there for me to be truly concerned with. All Jacob wanted was for her to be happy. I could hardly oppose that as it followed my wishes so exactly. "They'll sort it out." Though I still hoped Rosalie would give him hell for me.

"An interesting situation." Carlisle practically chuckled. "And I thought I had seen just about everything."

"I'll deal with it later. Well deal with it later." I squeezed her hand again, willing her to squeeze back.

"I'm sure between the five of us; we can keep it from turning into bloodshed."

I sighed. "I don't know which side to take. I'd love to flog them both." Rosalie's possessive thoughts over my daughter were almost as hard to take as Jacobs. I pushed their thoughts away. "Well, later."

"I wonder what Bella will think – whose side she'll take…" Carlisle mused aloud.

I let loose a quiet chuckle at the image of Bella facing down Jacob in a towering fury. "I'm sure she'll surprise me. She always does."

Carlisle left me to me vigil. The time felt like eternity as I watched my Bella's face. There was no expression, not pain, not fear, nothing. I could hardly stand it. Once again I wished that I could simply read her mind and see that she was okay. At the same time I was horribly grateful, because I would not be able to endure her pain, the searing agony of the venom.

Another long eternity passed, as I listened to Bella's labored breathing. I kept hold of her hand, never breaking contact with her. I could watch as her body slowly changed, her hand becoming firmer, yet staying so very soft. Her features slowly refined, as if I was watching a veil being lifted ever so slowly from her face. I had thought her the most beautiful person in the world, this purer form of my angel blew me away. My mind could hardly contain my wonder or my heart as I loved her more, something I thought impossible.

I heard Alice dance up the stairs, breezing into the room. I peeked into her thoughts as I asked impatiently, "How much longer?" I knew that Alice had been able to see Bella more clearly now that Renesmee was no longer sharing her body.

"Not much longer," she replied, focusing her mind so I could see an image of Bella, her eyes open, flash in her thoughts. "See how clear she's becoming? I can see her so much better." She sighed, and I saw that she was truly relieved; having feared that she would lose her power to see Bella. She had been worrying that Bella's quirky, silent mind would expand and affect her ability.

"Still feeling a little bitter?" I asked. Another blessing of Renesmee's birth was that our understanding of how Alice's gift worked was deepened; much to Alice's annoyance.

"Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up," She grumbled, "You would be mortified; too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature. I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans ok, because I was one. But I can't see these odd half-breeds at all because they're nothing vie ever experienced. Bah!"

"Focus, Alice," I reminded her.

"Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now." She focused her mind, showing us flitting through the trees together, hand in hand. Bella was smiling, her joy shining clearly in her eyes.

I sighed, happy, "She really is going to be fine." My worry was evaporating at the crystal clear image.

"Of course she is." Alice replied, disgruntled that I would ever doubt her.

""You weren't so sanguine two days ago." I reminded her.

She winced, and I was sorry I had reminded her of that horrible time for her. She truly hated to be blind, and had had a horrible headache almost the entire time. "I couldn't see right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

"Could you concentrate for me? On the clock – give me an estimate."

She sighed, and then grumbled "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec….." Then turning the twist in her head, focused on the image of Bella's eyes opening, the shifted the view to see the clock….

I saw, and was immensely cheered. She had mere hours to go, she would be perfect. "Thank you, Alice." I was so grateful to her.

"She's going to be dazzling." Alice stated, observing the changes already taken place on Bella.

I growled quietly. "She always has been."

Alice snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "You know what I mean. Look at her."

I was, rendered once again speechless with her beauty. My love for her just kept growing, amazing me again and again. I didn't think it was possible.

Alice left, and I sat in my quiet way, listening to every heartbeat, savoring each one, knowing they were numbered. This upset me, but I kept the image of Bella smiling with joy in my mind, knowing that she wanted this. There was the usual tussle downstairs over holding Renesmee, and I chuckled internally at the fact that my daughter had completely wrapped seven vampires and a werewolf around her fingers in such a short time. Anyone of them would give their life for hers. She was Bella all over again.

Since I was listening so very closely I immediately noted the pickup in her heartbeat. Her hands also cooled against my touch, finally losing their too intense heat.

"Carlisle." I called, knowing he would be listening and hear me. He joined me in the room quickly, Alice following closely behind. Bella's hands were losing more of her unnatural heat, cooling quickly. "Listen," I said.

We all paused, hearing her heartbeat slowly pick up pace.

"Ah, it's almost over." Carlisle said.

My heart rejoiced and broke at the same time. Please, please forgive me, my Bella.

"Soon," Alice agreed with an eager look on her face. "I'll get the others, think I should have Rosalie….?" I watched her mind flit through the possibilities.

"Yes….keep the baby away." She still had human blood, and Bella was now a newborn. No need to put anyone at risk.

I felt Bella's fingers jerk, the smallest amount. I froze, not breathing waiting for more. This was the first movement and I was relieved but desperate for more. I squeezed her hand, encouraging her, "Bella? Bella, love?"

Alice started moving to the door. "I'll bring them right up."

And then Bella's heard practically ground through her chest. It was almost a single sustained note. Her back arched away from the table, her first concession to what must be vicious pain. She slumped back to the table, going limp once more. I heard the others come through the door creating a circle around her.

Hear heart contracted once more, let out a hollow thump, and then was silent. The sound that I had used constantly to reassure myself of her safety, of her life, was gone. I almost felt lost in my grief for the precious sound, but Bella's eyes snapped open at that moment and I was able to take in her face with her new crimson eyes. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

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**Next chapter is the awakening! Please Please Please Read and REVIEW!!**


	2. Awakening

**Hello, and welcome to chapter two! Again working on the hunting chapter, soon to follow. But you must read and review to help me get it there!**

**All belongs to the fabulous Stephanie Meyer, of course.**

_previously......_

Hear heart contracted once more, let out a hollow thump, and then was silent. The sound that I had used constantly to reassure myself of her safety, of her life, was gone. I almost felt lost in my grief for the precious sound, but Bella's eyes snapped open at that moment and I was able to take in her face with her new crimson eyes. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

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She gazed upward, as if lost in thought for a moment; then took her first breath of immortal life. At the sound I was reminded to take my breath, as I had frozen and forgotten to breathe. Bella's devastating scent hit me like a bulldozer, just like the first time. Her scent had changed, but only in the fact that it no longer made my throat combust with flaming thirst. Venom no longer welled at the ready in my mouth. But my body reacted as if electricity jolted me. It was the most wonderful smell in the world. A symphony played with my senses. All Bella, all the best parts I had always loved. The bouquet of her scent remained but my hunger at it had disappeared.

I squeezed her hand gently, selfishly, as I wanted her to look at me. I needed to see into her eyes, as I could not look into her mind. I could feel her freeze completely for a fraction of a second. Then I heard a low hiss and Bella's muscles bunched and spasmed sending her into a twisting flip away from me. She ended up crouching in the corner near the wall. I was frozen, shocked at this turn of events.

_Does she remember? Did she forget everything in her quiet change?_ I worried, my thoughts nagging me. I was reaching out to her, trying to get her attention. _Does she remember who she even is? _These things were not unknown; Alice remembered nothing at all about being human.

Her eyes locked with mine, and my body reacted in shock, her eyes a flaming, almost glowing red. Her features were that of pure Bella, as if her essence was distilled down to its purest form and given the eyes of a demon.

I felt a wave of calm and knew that Jasper was in the room with me. I immediately looked into his mind reading Bella's mood from his senses. She was confused, overwhelmed and very frightened.

Alice decided to peek around Jaspers protective form, grinning at Bella widely. Peeking into Alice's mind, I knew that she had 'seen' the best way to reassure Bella.

Bella relaxed immediately, Alice's vision had showed the truth. Her expression remained stoic, giving me no hint to her thoughts which I tried again and again to read. Nothing, as always. Her strange silent mind was still hers. She was still staring at me, like she had never seen me before. Her eyes widened, just the tiniest amount. She gasped, and seemed to be trying to say something. She stood, in one quick movement. While her eyes remained on me, they lost their focus for another fraction of a second, and she looked unsteady.

I took this opportunity to get closer to her, walking slowly around the table, trying not to frighten her. "Bella?" I asked, quietly. _Please, please remember._

Her eyes widened, a bit more this time, and her eyes lost their focus once more. _What could she possibly be thinking?_ I had to know.

"Bella, love? I'm sorry, I know its disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine." I was trying to reassure her. I was still getting closer to her, arms aching to hold her. I had not held her in two full days, the longest period of time since Italy. It was painful to be away from her that long, even just mentally away. Her eyes looked lost still, or deep in thought.

When I reached her, I couldn't resist any more, my hand lifted to touch her face. I felt a jolt, like I had been shocked at her touch. It jolted me to my core, and I felt my need for her multiply. Her skin was like a rose petal laid over steel. Firm, but oh so soft. I was momentarily lost in the sensation. She was now the same temperature as me, but I didn't think I would miss her warmth. She was still warm, and now I would never have to worry about making her cold again. My body was starting to respond as it usually would with that strange current of desire running through us. _Oh, boy, hold our horses, we will have all night… _I raised my eyebrow, hoping she would speak, let me know what she was thinking.

I was suddenly surrounded in her arms, and she was crushing me. I didn't mind so much but it stopped me from being able to breathe in her intoxicating scent. She pressed her face to my chest. I shifted my weight, stepping back just a bit. _Wow, she's _**really**_ strong._

She immediately took this the wrong way, of course, and I could see the rejection flash across her eyes, followed by a quick burst of pain. It tore my heart out.

Jasper was immediately on his guard, knowing very well that newborns tend to let their more destructive moods get the best of them very quickly.

"Um…..carefully, Bella. Ow." I said, letting her know that it was her strength, and not her embrace that made me uncomfortable. At the same time my mind reeled at the fact that she was obviously much stronger than I. I had known of course, that it would be so, but it was truly surreal to feel it so obviously.

She yanked her arms away, much to my displeasure, and mouthed "Oops."

I smiled, and briefly wondered what was missing. _Her heart didn't skip a beat when I smiled_. _Ah, I'm going to miss that. _"Don't panic love. You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment." I said, letting my impulses lead my hand to her lips, wanting to see if they were as soft as her skin. _Impossible. _They were _softer_. My knees felt weak at the thought. Her face had a faint look of horror about it, as if she thought she had actually injured me.

Her eyebrows came together, as she processed this. I was distracted by the little dent that always appeared when she was thinking. She still seemed completely unaware of it presence, but I loved each little detail about her, worshiping each one as only vampire senses can. I stroked her cheek while looking into Jaspers mind again, gauging her mood. I was confused (but also secretly thrilled) as I sensed through Jaspers mind the same desire in her that was ripping up and down my body as I touched her. _How can she be anything but thirsty?_ She was a newborn, apparent from the vivid shade of her eyes; she should be rampant with thirst.

She focused then, her eyes sharpening on me. I was lost in her eyes, still the window to her soul, no matter the shade. She brought her hand up to my face, mimicking my pose. Her fingers stroked my cheek, and I felt my desire for her burn in my body as her scent used to burn my throat. I _needed_ her in inexpressible ways. Her sweet, lucious mouth opened and she spoke for the first time, looking deep into my eyes.

"I love you."

_She still loved me! _I beamed as my heart exploded for joy. She obviously remembered _everything_, and we were now equals. I would never have to fear hurting her again. Her voice wrapped my head and heart in its new bell like tones, seeping into my soul. I felt lost in my love for this tiny, stubborn woman.

"As I love you." I told her, wondering at my brilliant luck for a creature as perfect as her to love me. I carefully took her face in my hands, and did what I had wanted to do for so long. I kissed her, softly at first, gauging her reaction, then I lost all control and kissed her like I never had before. Like I had always wanted to. Fiercely I kissed her and the onslaught of sensation exploded down my spine. She pressed herself to me, trying to be gentle but obviously just as lost as me. Her breathing became ragged by reflex, as she didn't need to breathe anymore. This was the way I had always wanted to kiss her. To show her my utter love, bared for her to see and sense.

Emmett behind me cleared his throat. _Wow, Edward, get a room already._

Jasper was silently pleading with me to stop, as he could feel every bit of desire racing between us. It was making it quite uncomfortable for him and he worried what these strong emotions would do to Bella's control of herself. She seemed very calm outwardly, but Jasper could feel her emotions break across her again and again in waves, constantly changing.

Alice, on the other hand, was quite pleased with the way things were progressing. _Thanks for that, Edward, I'll have all night with him to help that desire….But don't worry, I was prepared, of course!_

_Ugh. _I was abruptly trying to push Alice's vulgar thoughts and images from my mind as Bella broke off the kiss, looking embarrassed and trying to step away. But I had not had enough of her yet. I was selfishly not done holding her. I chuckled at her expression as I stepped with her, keeping her close. I felt like I was burning for the joy. I couldn't even begin express it. I had received everything I had ever wanted, and more, so much more then I had ever thought to ask for. _I am the luckiest man on earth! _I wanted to scream it aloud to the heavens from the tallest mountain.

Bella took a deep breath and looked at me, her expression faintly accusing. "You've been holding out on me." Her golden voice echoed around me, the bell like tones sounded like the most glorious music to my ears. I could, and probably would, write a symphony to that sound. I knew deep down, though, that no piano, no full orchestra could ever do her voice justice.

"It was sort of necessary at the time," I reminded her, "Now it's your turn not to break me." I laughed, radiant with relief. My Bella was fine. She was better than fine. She was _mine_.

She frowned slightly while she thought that through, the little dent reappearing between her brows. Emmett joined my laugh then and Carlisle came forward. Jasper was following him closely, watching and sensing Bella's every mood shift ready to help if needed.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked. _See, Edward, she is perfect as I told you. _I could see his joy at completing his family, at the same time his analytical side was whirling through Bella's change, wanting to gather more information.

"Overwhelmed. There's so _much_….." She trailed off, her eyes unfocused again. I had not forgotten my first moments within my new mind, exploring the expanded senses of our kind. _Our _kind, I marveled.

"Yes, it can be quite confusing." Carlisle replied. He was tense, unable to sense her mood. She still seemed completely in control, but that could change in an instant. Newborns were notorious for their erratic moods.

She did a quick, jerky nod, eyes staying on Carlisle. "But I still feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

I hugged her close. Whispering into her ear I said, "I told you so." I could hear the exasperation of just about everyone in the room. They had all been telling me that she would be fine the whole time. 'I told you so' was their line and I was stealing it.

"You are quite controlled." Carlisle commented, his mind whirling. "More so than I expected, even with the time you have had to prepare yourself mentally for this." Carlisle was actually rocked to his core. He had never seen a new vampire act so calmly.

She thought about that for a fraction of a second. "I'm not sure about that." She whispered.

Carlisle nodded; his mind flitted through all the questions he wanted to ask. Always researching, looking for new information. He loved to study the different parts of what makes us up as vampires. He was wondering if the morphine had dimmed the pain at all. "It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?"

Bella hesitated, thinking hard. I breathed, knowing that I would hear about her pain now, and wishing I could delay it. I never wanted her to have to remember the searing pain of transformation. But I was curious too, she had been so still….would she remember?

She tensed, ever so slightly, before answering. "Everything was….very dim before. I remember the baby couldn't breathe…." She looked up at me with sudden fear in her crimson eyes.

"Renesmee is healthy and well," I promised, answering the question evident in her face. Thinking of my daughter put me in awe of this beautiful woman for giving so much of herself so that I may have a daughter. _Renesmee, my beautiful daughter_. _Who would have thought it possible! _"What do you remember after that?"

I _needed_ to know, now. I wanted to know if she remembered my bites on her skin, the needle in her heart. _The burning…._

Her face went blank as she answered. "It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then…I opened my eyes and I could see _everything_."

"Amazing," Carlisle whispered. _Excellent, morphine blocks more pain then I had thought…. I wonder…was she unconscious the whole time? Does she remember Edward talking to her? _"I want you to think – to tell me everything you remember," he pressed. _I need to add this to my notes about us…. Is it possible that the morphine is the reason she is so calm now?_

Bella winced at the question, and Carlisle felt instant remorse. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella. Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait." _The calmest newborn I've ever seen, but she must be burning from her thirst._

Her hand flew up to her beautiful column of her throat, confirming Carlisle's assumption. Her face was shocked again as if she had just realized the new burning pain. Unfortunately, it was a pain that would never go away for her entire eternal life. It was the same pain I had to fight against every day that she was human.

"Let's hunt, Bella," I said as I took her hand, trying to pull her along with me. Finally, we could eat together. _And didn't she always want to see me in action?_

Her eyes widened in shock, as she suddenly realized that she would not only see me hunt for the first time, she would need to participate too. The alarm was evident in her eyes as she searched my face to see if I was joking.

"It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you." I grinned at her hesitation. "I was under the impression that you'd always _wanted_ to see me hunt."

She laughed then, and my eyes widened in shock at the glorious sound. My body froze as the velvet tones washed over and through me. It was better than any bell choir I had ever heard. I felt giddy as I realized that I would get to hear that sound every day for eternity. I finally had reason to believe that God and his Angels existed, for surely they were missing my Bella. Bella was still considering our eminent hunt.

"Shall we?" I reached my hand to caress her throat and to take her hand. "I don't want you to be hurting," I added in a murmur I hoped she couldn't hear.

"I'm fine," she said automatically. _Still stubborn, I see, and still puts everyone ahead of herself. _"Wait, first…." She seemed confused for a moment.

Everyone's internal shock that _anything_ could come before her thirst as a newborn caught me off guard. Generally newborns were so bloodthirsty that it took days before _any_ coherent thought could form. It truly showed how strong Bella's mind was that she could put anything before her thirst, fresh from waking from the change. I was in awe yet again. _My sweet angel._

"I want to see her. Renesmee." Ahh, ever the caretaker. Her hands pulled away from mine as she clutched at her now flat and strong abs. Her expression stayed mainly blank, but I could see the panic in her eyes, and feel it in Jasper's senses.

_I don't think that's wise, Edward. She may be incredibly controlled, but we should at least let her hunt before we even consider putting the baby at risk. _Carlisle thought at me as we exchanged a glance. I nodded minutely.

Bella, of course, caught the entire exchange. "What?" she demanded.

"Bella, that's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control…." I was trying to word this in a way that didn't insult or belittle her accomplishment of calm. "You don't want to put her in danger, do you?"

Bella frowned, and I prepared my resolve in case she decided to push the point. _Truly, why push our luck?_

"Where is she?" she asked. She paused, and listened. Following her cue, I listened to Jacobs's large heartbeat, and the small fluttering sound of Renesmee's heart. Bella swallowed as I'm sure the sounds made her throat burn. As it had been a while since I had hunted, too, Jacob's wet heartbeat made my mouth water. Though I knew that his blood would disgust me.

"Is Rosalie with her?" Bella asked, reminding me of the feud that had yet to be resolved. I really wished I could just beat them both. Their constant thoughts of 'possession' of Renesmee were wearing on my nerves. Plus, I was remembering all that Jacob had done for my family lately. He gave us the permission needed to save Bella without igniting a war. Also, the pack had laws about killing the imprinted of a brother. So, in the end, Renesmee was completely safe, and protected even more. She now had a large vampire family, and a whole pack of werewolves protecting her. I hated knowing that I owed him. _But I don't owe him my daughter…._

"Yes." I said shortly. I gathered her silken hands in mine again to distract me, and tried to pull her gently toward the window. _Come along, my Angel….Please don't push the subject…._

"Wait," she argued. _How can she _wait_?!? Isn't she thirsty? _"What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I….unconscious?"

_Edward, she's so controlled! How is it possible to think about these details after she just woke up? It should be impossible. I have never seen this before, but I'm not sure how long this will last. We should really get her to hunt before letting her know the 'situation'. _Carlisle thought to me as we exchanged a glance. I could also see Jasper's opinion and growing tension at Bella's unnatural calm. He also expected a snap to happen at any point.

Bella, always observant, noticed our glance yet again. "What's wrong?" she whispered worry in her eyes.

Carlisle decided to take over. "Nothing is _wrong_," _except that you are the calmest newborn we have ever experienced. Maybe the morphine…._ "Nothing has changed much, actually – you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative – the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea." Carlisle smiled proudly at me in that moment. _Really, son, that was brilliant! _He sighed, moving on to her other questions, "Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme." _I hate to hurt Charlie, but am so happy to finally have Bella as my daughter. She belongs with us._

"I should call him….," Bella murmured, then trailed off as she heard her voice and realized that talking to Charlie was impossible. He would never recognize her new bell-toned voice. Her eyes widened suddenly as she processed Carlisle's comments. "Hold on – Jacob is _still_ _here?"_

Another shared thought with Carlisle passed as I looked at him. _I'm not sure how her temper will hold if we tell her, Edward. Besides, Jacob is half human as well, and though he smells bad, she might not be able to resist if presented with the temptation. _

I intervened. "Bella, there's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain…."

Jaspers thoughts and worries were screaming at me. _It's not natural. She should be going after the first heartbeat she senses single-mindedly. How is this possible? I need to be ready for when she snaps…. _Jasper has seen hundreds, perhaps thousands, of vampire births, and he truly was confused and worried about Bella's quiet change. Even when they didn't scream the entire time, they generally thrashed about and were _awake _for at least part of it_._ He was carefully monitoring all her emotions, and they were flooding back and forth violently, but nothing showed on the surface. _She's so strange….._

Bella swallowed deeply at my words, and I knew that she was thirsty, just stubborn enough to want her answers first. _Ah, my Bella, when will you learn to take care of yourself first?_

"But Jacob – "she started to argue.

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love." I interrupted, reminding her of her newfound immortality. _Our newfound eternity….._

"Okay," she said after a moment of consideration. _Wait, what?! _I had expected her to argue more than that. I was still re-gathering my lost thoughts when Alice piped up.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alice trilled as she danced over to us. Reading into her thoughts I saw what she planned. "You promised I could be there the first time; what if you two run past something reflective?" _She has to see the dress I put her in before she ruins it hunting. Maybe she'll finally realize that she's drop dead _gorgeous._ Hello! How obvious could her beauty be?_

While I agreed with Alice's opinion for Bella's beauty, I was hesitant to keep her from hunting any longer. "Alice – "I protested weakly.

"It will only take a second!" and then she darted from the room.

"What was she talking about?" Bella asked, but Alice was already back, bringing the gigantic mirror from Rosalie's room. Bella tensed suddenly then, and I assumed it was because we were making her look in the mirror. Bella _hated_ playing dress up for Alice. _Isn't she curious at all about her new 'look'?_

"Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice said, "I'm not going to be chewed out again."

"Chewed out?" I asked. I didn't remember even giving her grief over such a minor detail.

_Oh come on, Edward, let me do this. _Alice pleaded as she winked at me.

I was irritated that she wanted to put this before Bella's wellbeing. She _had_ to be in pain. "And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," I growled at her.

The little imp winked at me, thinking, _Maybe, but I'll take what I can get. And she'll be fine, trust me._

Bella was looking at herself by this point, and I quickly tapped into Jasper's thoughts to follow along since her face was still impassive. She felt mild pleasure at first, something I was enjoying quite a bit. But suddenly horror washed over her. _What? Maybe she wasn't ready yet…._Jasper tensed, waiting for her to lose it. Newborns tended to let their emotions get away with them. _Who am I kidding? All_ vampires tend to do that, new or not.I wished for the millionth time that I could read her thoughts. What was making her react with _horror_? She was so stunning….

"The eyes? How long?" She asked quietly. _Ahh, her eyes are a bit much to take in, seeing as they were practically glowing crimson._

"They'll darken up in a few months," I reassured her, "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

"Months?" Her voice rose in pitch and I felt her rising anxiety in Jasper's mind. Jasper took this as the moment he was waiting for and stepped forward, ready to catch her. I dug deeper in Jasper's mind while listening closer to Alice as she quickly flipped through the possibilities.

Bella noted our alarm, and immediately took a deep breath, and I felt her calm herself. Jasper's mind went blank with shock. _What the…? Newborns can't do that! Only vampires centuries old can keep control during an emotional storm that strong…and even then…. Is she even one of us?!?_

"No, I'm fine. It's just a lot to take in." Bella said soothingly. _Why is she trying to sooth _us?

Jasper was screaming his thoughts at me again. _Edward! How is this possible! Could you feel the strength of that anxiety?? She should have snapped right there! Are you sure the change is complete?_

"I don't know, "I answered him aloud, assessing Bella again. She looked like the change was complete…. What was going on in that strange mind of hers?

She frowned, "What question did I miss?" It hit me, then. She was suppressing her anxiety and horror because it disturbed _us._ Putting everyone else ahead of her own wants and needs. Typical Bella, running true to form.

I grinned, "Jasper is wondering how you're doing it."

"Doing what?" She sounded confused. Did she even know the significance of her calm attitude?

Jasper answered, "Controlling your emotions, Bella. I've never seen a newborn do that – stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it." _Amazing, simply amazing….but how long can it last?_

"Is that wrong?" I could feel Bella tense underneath me.

"No." Jasper replied. _Edward, I'd feel a lot better about this once she has hunted. We don't want her to snap while she's here and so close to the baby. And as calm as she might be now, after she finds out about Jacob's imprinting….._

I gently stroked Bella's arm, momentarily lost in its softness before answering. "It's very impressive; Bella, but we don't understand it." Everyone's thoughts, excepting only Alice's, were a confusing jumble of alarm and shock. Alice, of course, was completely relaxed other then impatiently waiting for Bella's reaction to her new look. "We don't know how long it can hold."

Bella quietly considered that for a fraction of a second.

"But what do you think?" Alice asked, no longer able to restrain herself. Patience is not a virtue of hers. _Oh come on, Bella, you're gorgeous, just admit it just once!_

"I'm not sure," Bella hedged, clearly avoiding the question. I could feel her fear in Jasper's mind. What could she be afraid of? She was handling being a newborn like she had been born to be one. _Like she had been born to be one…._

I was lost in the connotations with this new thought when Bella shyly brought her hand up to her face in the mirror. She was still looking at the image in the mirror like it was a stranger. Her facial expression hadn't changed at all.

I sighed. What I wouldn't give to see her thoughts just this one time.

Bella turned away from the mirror raising one perfectly arched eyebrow at me. "Disappointed?"

I laughed. _Would she ever see herself clearly?_ "Yes."

Her shock at my answer finally broke through her calm façade. I vaguely heard Alice snarl, and Jasper hiss, but I was distracted by the hurt flashing across my Bella's face. It was an expression I never wanted to see contorting her perfect features again. I leaned forward to wrap my arms around her, holding her as close as possible to me. _Well, we'd have to remove some fabric and we could be closer…._ I quickly shut down that thought. We needed to hunt first before I would let myself consider that.

"I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own. And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head." I murmured into her ear.

I was glad to see her face smooth out instantly. She leaned into me, saying, "Oh well, I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty." _She's able to joke at a time like this?_ I was shocked again by her calm acceptance, but at the same time relieved. _This_ was my Bella, stubborn, beautiful woman. I could hear the mental sighs of relief all around me.

_That was not nice, Edward! What if she had snapped? You wouldn't have had time to explain that little remark, you know…._I winced internally at the image that Alice showed me. Bella in a complete newborn rage screaming and tearing the room to shreds before fleeing into the forest….and across the trail of humans….. _You would have been responsible for that, mister! _

I shrugged Alice's fears off as I growled, "Bella, you have never been merely pretty."

_Edward….._ This thought was echoed around the room from multiple minds. I couldn't ignore it anymore. "All right, All right." I wistfully pulled away from my love.

"What?" Bella asked.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little once you've hunted." I responded. Jasper was actually frantic with nervous energy. He simply could not comprehend why she was so calm. It made no sense to him at all. I was almost smug with the knowledge. _But when has Bella ever responded how she was supposed to? If she had, she would have run screaming the very moment she knew the truth._

"Okay, let's hunt." Bella said, taking my hand in hers as she pulled my arms from around her.

**Thanks for reading!**


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